"I did not like to be touched, but it was a strange dislike. I did not like to be touched because I craved it too much. I wanted to be held very tight so I would not break. Even now, when people lean down to touch me, or hug me, or put a hand on my shoulder, I hold my breath. I turn my face. I want to cry."
"You’re painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture."
—Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road (via mr-another
"Like cubic zirconia, I only look real. I’m an imposter. The fact is, I am not like other people."
"Maybe you feel pressure to be positive because so many people rely on your good, fake-positive energy? If that’s the case, screw everybody else. You’re not a bottle of Valium."
"Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, denying it doesn’t change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world."
"You died in my arms. You freakin’ died and then you left instructions that I wasn’t allowed to save your life. You want to know what I’m scared of? I’m scared of everything! I’m scared to move! I’m scared to breathe! I’m scared to touch you! I can’t lose you. I won’t survive. And that’s your fault. You made me love you, you made me let you in, and then you freakin’ die in my arms!"
"People have crises, they push each other’s buttons, they inflict pain on one another and once in a fucking blue moon they bring out the best in each other. But mostly they bring out the worst."
"Decisions based on emotion aren’t decisions, at all. They’re instincts. Which can be of value. The rational and the irrational complement each other. Individually they’re far less powerful."